When the men came, they killed without any remorse for the people that they murdered. Their lives, their hopes, their dreams. To them, we were nothing but animals that needed to be slaughtered for going against what they considered to be normal. They came at night under the watchful eyes of the heavens.
The must have believed that the gods were observing them as they performed their ritual cleansing of our village. It was the screams of my neighbours that woke me from a restless sleep and warned me that they were coming. I had heard that they had attacked other places but I never imagined that they would come to my home. If I had known, I would have left at the first sign of hatred against us. But where would I go? Where would I go now? I grabbed some things and shoved them in a bag, things that I hoped would be useful; and then I ran.
I prayed that the heavens were watching the horror that unfolding around me so that I could slip away unnoticed and that the gods would not give me away. My heart was beating so hard I feared it would beat out of my chest. I slipped through the darkness, heading towards the riverbank. I couldn’t take a boat from there, it was too risky. Instead, I would follow the river down to the coast and head to safety from there. Or, at least, there might be other survivors.
As I moved further away from the assault, the screams died away and the only sound I could hear were the blood pumping in my ears. It was so loud I couldn’t hear the heaving of my chest. My lips were as dry as my eyes were wet. I needed to keep moving. Maybe I could hide near the coast until the morning and then head back to the village? I didn’t want to leave my home and my people but I didn’t want to die either.
It didn’t take long to reach the river, and it would only take half an hour to reach the coast. This was a journey that I have made many times, but never like this. I kept low as I moved through the trees and bushes; skipping over exposed roots and fallen branches. As I moved, I counted my blessings that I was able to make this journey with my eyes closed as the darkness and my tears had blinded me.
The sand of the beach was white under the light of the moon. The waves gently rose and fell, glistening under the night sky. Their flickering was almost a mirror to the stars above. Under any other circumstances, this would have been a beautiful night. However, I knew the whiteness of the sand was a lie, and the ground of my village was dark with blood and the ugly truth. It was here, at the edge of an ugly reality and a beautiful lie, that I sat and sobbed. I wept for the people I had left behind, I cried that we had been naive enough to think that we would be spared; but I mainly I let the tears fall because I feared for my life and they were hunting us because they didn’t believe the same things that we did.
At some point during the night, I lost track of time. It felt as if 5 minutes or a million years had passed while I sat at the edge of the trees and the beach, each end of the time spectrum would have felt like the correct answer. At some point, I would have to make a decision. Could I go home? Would I have to leave the area completely? Why were they doing this? How could they do this so easily? The thought of killing any animal, even a pest, made my skin crawl. My mind felt numb and my heart was heavy with the decision in front of me. Also in front of me, at the other end of the beach, was a group of people who were trailing a boat down the sand to meet the waves. My heart had calmed down enough that I could hear their voices. As I recognised them as my neighbours, my pulse quickened again. They had survived and were heading for freedom. I didn’t think, I just reacted and stepped out onto the beach, calling to them. It was stupid. Once I was out in the light of the moon, I was the perfect target. My howling just made sure that the men who had slaughtered my village knew that I was there. Hidden in the trees, not far from where I had been crouched, came the gunfire. It kicked up sand around me, throwing it into the air like glitter. My friends and neighbours could see me running, they saw the gunfire, and they didn’t stop. They moved quicker to get their boat into the water, running to catch the waves from a tide that was going out. They ran, refusing to slow as the bullets whizzed around me. I ran towards the water, maybe I could meet them at the water’s edge and we could escape together. My feet slapped across the soaked sand as I neared the waters edge. Salt water flicked up as the waves came closer with every step. Behind me, the men had stopped shooting and were running to catch us. My friends had their boat in the water as I hit the waves with my body. In they got and began to sail away. Under the moonlight, I watched them try and make an escape, leaving me behind. The water was up to my chest and I began to swim after them. I had no choice. My options were to take my chances catching them or be caught by a group of madmen. The ocean looked like a better option. At least if I died in the water, the current would hold my body instead of discarding like the men would.
The boat looked like it was getting closer. Maybe I would make it! I swam faster, trying to swim across the current to reach them. The men had reached the water line and opened fire again. The boat, under the beautiful light of the moon, was almost too easy a target for them. This time they didn’t miss and everyone on board fell into the watery embrace of the ocean.
“Where’s the other one?!”
“I don’t know! I saw it run into the water and then it disappeared!”
“Maybe it will drown like the dog that it is!”
I bobbed within the waves, every lap gave me a gentle hug, and I watched the men return to the trees to hide again. They would stay there under the morning and wait for any others to make an escape. But now I had a different problem. I was trapped in the water and the tide was starting to come back to the beach. I swam slowly to the boat and clung to the side, I didn’t dare climb inside just incase they spotted me. What would I do? I couldn’t live in the ocean but I didn’t want to die in it either. My friends bodies bobbed in the water beside me. I was surprised that they could still float with so many bullet holes in their corpses. Dead eyes reflected the moonlight and stared at me.
“You were going to leave me, weren’t you?” I whispered.
The eyes just stared back, unblinking and no answers. I was hurt that they would leave me behind but deep down I knew I was the reason they had all been killed. If I hadn’t screamed, then maybe the men would never have known we were all there.
I peeked out from behind the boat and could see the shore getting closer. The tide was drawing me back into the beach. Why was I been cursed with this luck? Normally, a moon filled sky shining down and a tide bringing me home to the beach was a good thing. Not today. I would give anything for some clouds and for the tide to change direction. The beach was getting smaller and smaller. I couldn’t risk washing up on the beach, I knew they were there, so I swam. The tide grabbed and held me, pulling me back. Every wave that rolled over me was dragging me back to the shore.
No, don’t go out there, it’s not safe for you, you belong on the land you silly human!
Oh ocean! If only you knew how much danger was waiting for me on the shore, you would carry me out and away from this madness to a place were everyone was free!
Splash, stroke, splash, stroke.
The rhythm went on. With every stroke forward, a splash moved me back. My arms grew tired quickly. The tide was too much for me. I gave up. Exhaustion had filled my body and replaced the fear that I had felt. Rather than go under, I flipped on to my back and looked at the sky. It really was a beautiful night.
A quick look towards the shore confirmed my fear, I had been swimming for no reason and the treeline was closer than ever. Salty tears joined the ocean as I accepted my fate. The boat had already reached the beach, as had a couple of the bodies. At least I would have company. My legs grazed the sand of the beach as I reached the edge. As the back of my head rested against the sand, the first light of dawn shot across the sky. The sun was about to rise! The night was over! And now the monsters of the night would be disappearing back to their hiding spots. I let the waves of relief wash over me along with the waves of the ocean. Every second that I lay there, the brighter it got. When the sun was out, full and radiate, I knew it was safe to stand. I had made it. I gathered myself and scrambled for the boat which had beached itself just a little bit away. Inside were the supplies of my fallen friends. It wouldn’t be long before the tide turned and it could carry the little boat out to sea. I lay down to rest my weary body and wait. I could never go home. The monsters and madmen from last night had made sure of that. I didn’t know where I would go but I knew I would have to move with the currents and the tides instead of going against them. Wherever I ended up, I would make sure that I have done my best to fit in and go with the flow. Trying to swim against the tide had gotten me into this mess, I wasn’t going to let it happen again.
When I opened my eyes, I could see the blue sky above me and felt the boat rocking gently. The sea had carried me away while I was resting. Where would it take me? I had no idea. But I felt safe with the sea. Out in the vast ocean, the burdens of politics and religion couldn’t touch me, they wouldn’t hurt me. I drifted off sleep and dreamt of changing tides. My only hope was that the tide would not change again and sweep me back into the chaos that I had left behind. If it did, I knew I wouldn’t have the strength to escape again. You can only swim against the tide once in your life, and once is enough. Exile would not just be from my home, it would be from my life.
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