From courtship to dating || How the rules of dating began

From courtship to dating || How the rules of dating began

Have you ever wondered why there are certain rules around dating? Well wonder no more as I have the answers that you need when someone starts kicking off about “stupid dating rules”. They might be stupid but they appeared for a reason.

Why men pay for the date

This might seem like a sexist one but this rule appeared out of sexism. When women first starting working, employers didn’t think it was to support themselves. They believed that it was to go with their husband’s income and so they paid them a lot less than the men who worked for them. So, if a guy wanted to go out with a lady, she plain and simple couldn’t afford to go out. And this is why men had to pay for a night out with a lady.

Women were once sent to jail for dating

Ok, this one isn’t so much a rule but it explains why women are/were expected to be coy about their dating lives. At the beginning of the 20th century, long before free dating sites were a thing, when modern dating as we know started to bloom, many women were mistaken for hookers when they were trying to pick up men. Because of the arrests, women who were dating started to be much more low key about their activities just in case they were arrested for trying to attract a man.

Shopgirls made the makeup industry boom

If the American dream for a man was to work hard and become a success, then the American dream for a woman was to start working and then marry your rich boss. This might sound awful that these girls were playing a game of Match Me Happy, but remember, these girls were getting paid half the wage of a man who was doing the same job. These girls starting wearing makeup and modeling themselves on their rich customers in the hope that it would help them land a rich husband. It was this wage gap which started the rule for women to only date rich men and make sure that they marry rich.

Rules were born out of courtship

Back in the deep past, if a man wanted to see a woman there was no such thing as dating sites, and there were rules that he had to follow. At all times, the couple was supervised, he had to call at certain times, and there was a proper protocol that had to be followed. As the years went on, and the structure changed, the old rules fell away. But, people still needed some sort of rules to follow so that they didn’t make idiots of themselves or cross some line. Before, it was the woman (or her parents) that were in charge, but once dating came into its own it was the men who took charge.

The changing rules meant people could get closer

Like I said, courtship used to be in the hands of the woman’s parents. And when they were in charge, it was about finding the right social match. Love had nothing to do with it. With the rules changing, people could get together for love instead of business. For the first time, people could be intimate without being married, something that had never happened before. The rules about sex have been evolving since the 1950’s when people became comfortable with people declared We Love Dates and began dating for personal pleasure.

If you liked this, you will love my other posts about sex and dating.

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