The dating world can be hard enough for people in their 20’s and 30’s, but can you imagine what it is like for people who have just gone through a divorce? Yikes! Dating after a divorce can seem scary and awful, but fear not! Here are some interesting facts and figures that might make getting back into the dating game seem like you never left.
It’s normal to be scared
It doesn’t matter if you are newly divorced or got rid of your ball and chain years ago, getting back into the dating game can be tough, mainly because the rules have probably changed a bit since the last time you were on a date. I’ll be honest, I’ve only been married for a few years and I have no idea what the current dating rules are. Plus, you are used to being part of a team when you head out for a meal. When you went out with your husband or wife, you knew who was pulling out the debit card and it didn’t matter because it was from the joint account anyway.
Are you ready to date?
It is one thing to be nervous about going on a date but it’s another thing if you aren’t ready. If the thought of going out on a date fills you with any negative emotions, then don’t go. There is no point trying to force yourself out there if you don’t want to be there. It is much better for everyone if you don’t go out until you are ready. What if you go out for a date and you hate it, but your date thinks that you are the best thing since sliced bread? It’s really not fair, is it?
Eat that frog!
No, I don’t mean actually “eat a frog”, but face your fears. Going out on that first date after divorce is probably going to suck. It’s going to be awkward and you won’t know what to do. The thought is terrifying to most people. But, once you get over the initial sucky date and know what it’s like to be out again, it won’t be so bad. One of the biggest fears that people have is that they won’t have anyone their age in the dating pool but over 60s dating is on the rise across the world.
Think happy thoughts
You might be tempted to get wrapped up in negative thoughts but don’t get sucked into that way of thinking. Just because your ex is a bit of twat-waffle, doesn’t mean that everyone else is. Fear can play a big part of the negativity circle. when it comes to dipping your toe in the dating pool again, it helps to be around like-minded people who can help and support you when you are feeling down about heading out for a date.
What are you really looking for?
That might seem like a stupid question but hear me out. When it comes to dating, what do you want? Are you looking for another long-term relationship? Or is sugar mummies dating toyboys more your thing? I won’t judge you either way but you should know what you want in the end. Not everyone is looking for longterm love after going through a divorce, and that is ok. In time, priorities change and what people want from a relationship can change, but just make sure you know what you want.
Dating, but not as you know it
When some people think about dating, they will conjure up pictures of smokey bars and pathic one-liners to get into your underwear. Yeah, the one-liners still exist but at least nobody can smoke in the bar now. Dating should be an adventure and an opportunity to share experiences with new people. It’s also a great way to get out of your comfort zone (and the house) to do something you wouldn’t normally do. There are loads of great days out that you could go on instead of the usual dinner by candle-lit gig.
One thing that strikes fear into the newly single is “where will I meet new people?” Most of your friends are probably married or attached in some way so, and any single friends that you have have been shoved squarely in the friend zone. Don’t worry, there is no reason to pull them out from that category when there is internet dating. There are so many dating sites available for different needs, so don’t worry about finding someone within your own pool of friends.