Why I don’t mind being sexy (and you shouldn’t either)

why I don't mind being sexy

Over the last few months we have seen massive changes in how women are treated. No longer will we tolerate being objectified as sex objects. But is it still ok to be sexy?

Once upon a time, when I was in my early 20’s, I was in a relationship that was not the best. In fact, abusive would be the word I would use. One of the things that he took great pleasure from was calling me fat. I wasn’t fat, I was a size 8 and could still do the splits. But the fact that I had a baby (his baby) and was left with a mountain of loose skin and stretch marks, that was his opening to cut me down. To me, it didn’t matter what he said, I didn’t like them anyway and his insults fell on deaf ears. He pissed me off more than anything by stating the obvious. And despite whatever comments you want to make, they are not my “tiger stripes” and I am not proud of them. You know what I’m proud of? The three beautiful humans I have made. I don’t like my stomach and I don’t have to either.

While my ex took great pleasure in telling me that I was fat and nobody else would ever love me, he also liked to point out who was good-looking. At the time, Britney Spears had released Toxic, Christina Aguilera was being Dirrty and everyone was skinny. The Matrix movies had been taking the world by storm and Trinity was considered a very sexy lady. Jennifer Garner had made a name for herself as Elektra and was another sexy lady. Underworld was one of the latest vampire movies to grace the silver screen with Kate Beckinsale as Selene, another sexy lady. Why do I keep bringing the fact that these ladies are sexy to the front of your mind? Isn’t it awful to objective them like this? Maybe. But they aren’t just sexy, they could kick your ass.

For me, every time I hear the word sexy, I don’t think that they are, err…well, sexy. I’m sure they are. But what I hear is “this woman has the strength to break some bones and takes no shit”. When male interviewers drool over these movie stars while they ask how they got into shape, I’m taking notes because I want to be bad-ass as Catwoman. I know there isn’t any real vampires but there is no reason why I shouldn’t try the same exercise routine as a slayer. There is a good chance that a lot of abused women hear the word sexy and translate that into she would kick everyone’s ass. It’s empowering to hear it because (for me at least) it means that I am powerful.

So ladies, the next time someone tells you that you are sexy, take it as a compliment. Not because you should, but because there is a good chance that you could break their arm and bitch slap them if they dare touch you. I’m taking back the word Sexy and plan to be it every day.

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