As a pregnant lady, there are days I don’t want to leave the house because people suck. That might sound harsh but it is true, and there is nothing worse than being emotionally vulnerable when you are making a human and dealing with stupid people. Here are some of the ways that people can ruin a pregnancy and run the risk of getting punched in the throat.
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Stop talking to me
I don’t know why people think it’s ok to stop me when I am out shopping to discuss my pregnancy and birthing plans, but it isn’t ok, ever. Am I going to breastfeed? None of your damn business. Am I feeling uncomfortable? Well, I wasn’t until you started asking me stupid ass questions. When it comes to being pregnant and giving birth, a woman can expect all of her dignity to fly out the window. We know this. What we don’t need people randomly stopping us when we are out and about to ask us intimate questions about our lady parts and stripping it back even further. If you don’t know the pregnant lady in front of you, don’t talk to her unless it is the middle of the summer and are offering to buy her a sugar-free ice-lolly.
Don’t touch me
I hate people touching me at the best of times so why do people think it’s ok to touch my belly? Seriously, I look like the most unapproachable piece of shit at the best of times, something I have perfected over the years. I have no interest in letting you touch my baby bump. I have been known to either hide in the house or dress to disguise my bump so that people don’t touch me. When I get touched randomly I tend to hit people and nobody wants to see a pregnant lady with an assault charge. It is so inappropriate and disturbing to have a stranger try and touch you up like this. If my own mother wouldn’t touch my belly without asking, then why the name of everything unholy would I let a random stranger feel me up? Please, don’t touch the pregnant lady.
Don’t offer advice
This is mainly aimed at strangers (again) who like to dish out little nuggets of advice. Unfortunately, this doesn’t just stop when the baby comes out, you will be given a mountain of unsolicited advice until you find that you are the one giving the advice. The thing is, I have been a parent for a long time (over 15 years) so I know loads of tricks and what to do about 90% of the time. When you see me out with my youngest and the bump, don’t start telling me about how to manage multiple children, there are two more that are probably in school at that moment in time. I’ve read plenty of parenting books, lived through plenty of parenting fads, and survived more sleepless nights than some people have had hot dinners. Trust me, I got this. And even if this was my first pregnancy, I don’t need your advice random stranger. The only advice you should be listening to is from your health professionals or from trusted friends and family.
No thanks, I don’t need anything
I know having babies is expensive, I’ve had to shop for four different pregnancies. But there is nothing more annoying than people trying to shove hand-me-downs on an expectant mum. I will put my hands up and admit that I have passed baby stuff on to my friends and family over the years, that’s why I have to buy fresh stuff each time around, but I’ve never forced stuff on to my friends and family. Call me fussy, but I hate having second-hand baby stuff (sorry not sorry). I am in a position to buy brand new stuff and I am not ashamed of it. I know some people aren’t and they have nothing to be ashamed of either. Everyone has a budget and we should respect that. With that in mind, I tend to buy all of my own stuff because baby shopping can be pricey and I don’t expect anyone to stick their hands in their pockets and buy me the latest double buggy. But, if you are going to buy a new mum a gift, for crying out loud, buy them something brand new! Unless it is vintage, antique or they have requested it, don’t rock up with a pile of second-hand baby stuff, it’s insulting.
Stick your comments up your….
I know I might seem a bit spoilt and anti-social with some of the points here, and I know not everyone will agree with them. Each to their own, you do you. Personally, these are just my opinions, you may agree or disagree as you see fit. But there is one thing that all pregnant ladies can agree on that is hateful, it is the passive-aggressive comments. It doesn’t matter if this is your first or your tenth pregnancy, those jokes with a jag are nasty and should not leave your lips. One of my personal “favourites” is- are you pregnant again? Why yes I am, thanks for making me feel self-conscience about reproducing again. Another one is about the belly size. I am very aware that I am huge, it’s one of the side effects of making a little human being. But what I don’t need is you commenting on how big I am and asking if there is only one in there.
What are the things that have happened to you when you were pregnant that you hated? Have you ever punched a stranger for touching your baby belly? Let me know in the comments section. And don’t forget to check out some of my other parenting posts-