Everyone has a bucket list these days and normally it has a list of places that you want to visit. But I’m done with the normal list of “places to visit before you die”. Here is a list of places with dirty names that I want to visit while I still have a sense of humour.
Twatt, Shetland, UK
Apparently, the name comes from the Old Norse meaning “Small parcel of land”. Never heard that one before….Anyway. Apart from being featured on my list, Twatt has also been featured on TV and ranked number 4 for having a rude name.
Twatt, Orkney, UK
This Twatt can be found on another Scottish Island, this time it’s the Orkney Islands. There’s a landing strip on this Twatt *wink wink*. No, really. There’s an old airfield that used to be home to The Royal Naval Air Service. The airfield is abandoned now but once upon a time, there was plenty of seamen to be found in Twatt.
Lickey End, West Midlands, UK
This small village in Worcestershire isn’t that old, so they can’t blame the cavemen for this choice of name. The village was developed in the 1990’s and is just up the road from another village called Lickey. You can find Lickey End just ten miles south-west of Birmingham.
Brown Willy, Cornwall, UK
It wasn’t always called Brown Willy. The name is from the Cornish Bronn Wennili. Which means “Hill of Swallows”. That’s not much better, is it? There have been calls to change the name but local residents would have none of it. Apart from the rude name, it’s a firm favourite for hikers.
I hear this is where politicians go to retire and holiday. It’s actually a very small area in County Wexford. It’s right at the coast so it could be a very nice place to visit. It is believed to be named after a French man who lived there but I have no idea how much truth there is to that.
Blue Ball, Ireland
This hamlet was known as Pallis. Or in Irish an Phailis. Is it just me or are they too similar to Phallus? Anyway, this small hamlet is so small, you could miss it. It does have its own pub that serves epic lamb chops (or so I have been told).
Stranagalwilly, Northern Ireland
The local dentist says that you’ll always have a smile on your face here. I wonder why? I’ve driven past here a few times but always seen to forget to call in and take some photos. Maybe next time I’ll remember.
Lower Balix, Northern Ireland
Lower Balix can be found near Stranagalwilly in County Tyrone. Try saying that to your grandmother without getting a slap. But there couldn’t be a lower Balix without an Upper Balix. Yep, there’s two Balix. Overall, the Balix stretches for around 1,500 acres in Lower Stranbane.
On the third Sunday of May there is the annual Nobber Fair Day where you can see some rare breeds….of cows. The fair is always a big success and people come from all over the place. There have been as many as 10,000 people at the fair.
Muff, Northern Ireland
Muff sits on the border between the north and south of Ireland. If the name wasn’t funny enough, there is also a Muff diving club which is one of the odlest diving schools in Ireland. The village sells “I Love Muff” souvenirs to all of the dirty minded toursits that stop by. Now, who wants to go Muff diving?
Chinaman’s Knob, Australia.
This name is funny enough by itself but when you consider that it’s the name of a hill, it makes it that much funnier. Seriously, who names a hill Chinaman’s Knob? I really don’t want to know why it ‘s named that. Somethings are better left unsaid.
Intercourse Islands, Australia.
There’s not just one Intercourse Island, there’s a few! West Intercourse, East Intercourse, Middle Intercourse, but no Intercourse passage. Shame. a quick seach on Lonely Planet says that there is nothing to do. Alright, if you say so. I thought the name said it all.
When the boobies pop out of the bra, that’s a tittybong. It’s also a place in Australia. Let’s face it, this sounds like something Bevis and Butthead would say, not a place name. It’s pretty much deserted now, or looks that way at least.
Wet Beaver Wilderness, Arizona, USA.
This must be a great place to paddle a canoe in. This rude bit of nature is a wildlife hotspot for deer and bears. If you fancy some action at Wet Beaver, there is a campsite where you can erect a tent. Part of the Creek has been named The Crack. Ok, I’ll say no more…
Did you know that there is a palace there? Yep, Wankaner Palace is a beautiful building built by the Maharaja of Wankaner. It used to be used as the holiday palace but now it’s a hotel that you can stay in. It’s also right next door to somewhere called Vaghasiya.
Pis Pis River, Nicaragua.
It’s actually pronounced “Pie Pie” River but that’s not the point is it? The river is named after the weeds that grow there. I think those weeds might be named pis pis because it covers people when they take a pis pis.
Wanks River, Nicaragua.
It’s known to the rest of the world as the Coco River, but to the Miskito Indians that live along the banks, it will always be Wanks River or the Wanki. I honestly don’t know what one is worse. Or the fact that the mouth of the river meets the Carribean Sea. Yep, there is a salty ocean at the end of the Wanks.
Beaver, Oklahoma, USA.
A popular pastime in Beaver is cow chip throwing. That’s throwing cow poo for sport for the rest of us. There are so many dirty jokes to be made, and so little time. Despite the rude name and strange past time, the town began its life as a trading post and grew from there.
Beaver Head, Idaho, USA.
There’s a lot going on in this town. Not only can you hunt, there’s a massive crater and a mountain range that can be hiked too. And if hiking isn’t your thing, then you could try your hand at the 55k or 100k endurance races.
Intercourse, Pennsylvania, USA.
You can find Intercourse in the middle of Amish Country. Now there’s a sentence I’d never thought I would say! The usual set-up attracts a lot of tourists every year. The Amish are very welcoming, despite the dirty-minded folks that stop by. In the town, you can buy Amish goods or get a ride on a horse and buggy.
Shafter, California, USA.
Shafter is one of those places that has a rude name, but does not want to play on it. Which is a shame in my book. This is probably because the town is named after a person, General William Rufus Shafter. Yeah, it’s probably pretty rude to take the piss out of a dead generals name. But it’s still a funny name.
Climax, Colorado, USA.
Climax is now a ghost town but at it’s height, it was a mining town with one of the largest mines in the US. At one point in history, it was the highest human settlement in the US. It also had a large post office and the highest train station.
Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada.
There have been a few campaigns to change the name of this town, but all have failed. Despite the rude name, the town has won competitions for being pretty. Nobody knows where the name came from but some think it was named as a joke. The guys who mapped out the area were known for giving areas rude names so it’s not impossible that they done it for a laugh. If I ever go I might have to check out the Dildo Dory Grill, too.