At the time of writing, Halloween is just over a month away, so why not prepare by sampling some of these bone-chillingly terrifying selections? recommended by me, R. R. Molyneux, part time necromancer and full-time mouthpiece for the dreams of the Elder Gods…
…what was I saying? Passed out for a second there.
Because we love you guys and we want to you shit your pants over and over again, we have left some links to Amazon for these movies. If you click the links and buy them the site gets a small commission which will probably be spent on wet-wipes and new underwear after watching all of these.
- The Amityville Horror (1979)
Quite possibly the greatest Haunted House movie ever made. The Amityville Horror re-defined and, depending on who you ask, arguably killed an entire genre. I you want a pant-shitting scared every time a pipe creaks in your home, this is not one to be missed.
2. I Spit On Your Grave.
This one could most charitably be described as a “challenge wank” it was condemned for its depictions of violence, nudity, obscene language gang rape. Perfect for that special someone with a nose ring and a gender studies degree.
3. Don’t look now
Don’t Look Now (Digitally Restored) [DVD] 
Featuring Donald Sutherland’s naked ass and “that” scene with the girl in the red coat. (You’ll know what I mean after watching) this twisted tale of parenthood and lost children will make your skin crawl up into your mouth.
4. Night of the Lepus
Night Of The Lepus [DVD]  [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Alright, I admit it, this one isn’t really scary in the slightest (Unless you are Leporiphobic, in which case you will run from the living room crying,) I just wanted to include because there was a point in cinematic history where so much cocaine was consumed that someone actually green lit a horror movie about giant, mutated rabbits. Dig on this.
5. Vampyros Lesbos
Everybody likes Lesbian Vampires right? Jess Franco certainly thinks so, hence we have this classic piece of horror erotica, featuring the inhumanly beautiful Soledad Miranda and a truly amazing soundtrack. Oh, and some delightfully meaty murders as well.
Scanners  [DVD]
I love genre hybrids, do you? Anyway this is a sci fi/superhero/horror mash up that could best be described as “X Men meets Bad Taste” Epically, transcendentally gory, and with a genuinely excellent story and universe. This is not one to be missed.
7. The Lost Boys
The Lost Boys [DVD] 
So far almost all my picks have been from the 70’s, which is weird. I guess it was just a grimmer time. It also probably has something to do with 80’s horror being a lot less about the grim, dark, reflection into the human soul and more about stupid fashion and attractive people. Anywhere here’s The Lost Boys.
8. Rosemary’s Baby
Keifer Sutherlands sexy vampire face not doing it for you? wow, you do have discerning tastes. Okay, how about some Devil rape while the neighbours watch? Something of a forgotten classic, Rosemary’s Baby nonetheless taps into some very primal fears about being raped by the devil (or is that just me?)
9. Return of the Giant Monsters
Okay, not technically a horror movie but after all the devil rape, head exploding and Corey Feldman it was time to lighten things up a bit, this movie is about a giant, fire breathing turtle fighting a vampire dinosaur-bat. If you aren’t already watching it at the end of this sentence, you are probably a cunt.
10. Whatever happened to Baby Jane?
Okay, we’ve had telekinetic serial killers, demons dressed as little girls and devil rape (I really ned to stop thinking about that! But you know what they say, once you go satanic you break out in panic!) I think the best way to end this list is by shining some light on the most terrifying monster of all…