These days you can’t swing a cat by the tail without someone being in your face about animal cruelty. But that isn’t what this post is about. This is about swinging a cat by the tail (metaphorically) when it comes to talking about weight loss and the stuff that is available. This post tackles Forever Living, the aloe diet, which has been tried and tested by me.
Ok, I lied a little bit there. I did try the diet but didn’t stick to it in anyway shape or form. The easiest way for me to explain this all to you, is to tell you some stories. As normal, I have provided some links to the products that I will be talking about. If after reading this, you decide to click the links and buy the stuff, the site gets a small commission that will probably be spent on more “health and fitness” stuff for us to test out.
I was introduced to the Forever Living detox diet thingy by one of my best friends. She had just finished it herself and dared me to try it. I’m not one of those people who will shy away from a challenge so I said yes. My friend still had some of her aloe juice left from her detox and poured me a little shot, just so that I could try it out before I spent the £200 on the kit. I was so glad that she did. I stood over her kitchen sink and tried to down the shot of icky green juice and couldn’t. Without warning my body rejected it and I spat it out all over her kitchen window and curtains. This was by far the most disgusting thing I have ever had in my mouth. No joke. I would rather drink moonshine from an unwashed bellybutton than try that again. I never did buy the kit and have no intention of doing it anytime in the future.
Like I said, my friend had tried it out, she clearly has a stronger stomach than me. Or so I thought. It turns out she wasted a load of the juice by spitting it out. She finally was able to start drinking it after wasting nearly a quarter of the bottle. She said the whole time she was on the diet, she was hungry and felt like she was going to pass out on more than one occasion. She lost a ton of weight, not that she needed to. But, once the plan was over she put it all back on again. She was so cross! My friend is a really healthy eater so she was was raging that the weight that she had lost piled back on again. She didn’t run out and start stuffing herself with junk! It was literally £200 down the toilet.
Nurses have a pretty gross job as it is but when you do it on the aloe diet, it is even worse. So, this girl, who is a nurse, was half way through the diet and was working one night. She walks into a patient’s room and is horrified to see that the patient has pooed everywhere. It’s on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling, on the patient, and the patient is sitting eating it. I’m not joking, I used to do this girls job, this sort of poo incident happens more than you think. Anyway, she hadn’t been feeling too good and her stomach had been making some strange noises during her shift. She told the rest of the girls that the aloe diet might not be the best thing in the world. But when she walked in and saw the poo everywhere, her cast iron nurse stomach gave up, and she vomited on the floor.
This is going to be one of the worst stories that you will ever hear. A girl started the diet and it wasn’t agreeing with her. But, she had spent the money so she was determined to stick with it. Every day she had the most horrible diarrhoea. After a few weeks, the weight was really falling off her and she felt safe enough to head out for a run. She got a mile away from her house when the horror happened. In the middle of the town, her stomach gave a sharp pain and then a fart escaped. But it wasn’t a fart. She shit herself. In the middle of town. A mile away from home. And it didn’t stop. She had to run a mile home in pain with a river of shit running down her leg the entire time.
Those are the stories. Yes, the plan will help you to lose weight but you will probably put it all back on again. You might feel sick. You might be sick. In fact, the only people who have told me that they feel “great” taking it are reps. Let’s be honest here, this is not a good diet for your body. Anything that makes you lose weight rapidly can’t be that great for you. Any sort of weight loss should be done slowly for long term results. I’m no fitness guru but even I know that, and any PT, fitness instructor or doctor will tell you this.
Although I hate the diet, I do love the Forever Living creams. They are brilliant and worth the money that you spend one them. The Aloe Propolis creme is one of my favorites because it is great for itchy skin. One of my other friends swears by the Aloe Heat Lotion for back pain. But if you still want to try Forever Living F.I.T.1 Pack – Chocolate, 30 Days programme for Weight Loss & Detox, simply click on the link there and order yourself a batch. But don’t say that we didn’t warn you!
Images- Forever Living on Twitter and edited for lattelindsay.com